Oscar's Little corner of the Web - USSU Stage Crew 'Glossary'

Name	Picture	Description
ACL AKA - Those lamps that look like little par cans with a funny yellow Cee-Form on them.	[No Picture]	Those lamps that look like little par cans with a funny yellow Cee-Form on them.
Amplifier AKA - Amp		Makes things go 'Wub'
Arcline	[No Picture]	A strobe on a stick! Well, in a stick, at least.
Azure		The latest acquisition in the Crew Lighting desk department. No one knows how to use, program or get the most out of it but it cost a shedload of money so it must be great!
Bar of 6 AKA - Bar'o'Rays		6 par cans on a bar - hence the name.
Barn Door		Prevents excessive light spill by stopping the light molecules wandering off and doing thier own thing.
Breaker		When someone trys to do an impression of a lighning rod, by proving mains electricity with a quicker route to earth, this is supposed to cut the power.
Break In		Many to multicore
Break Out		Multicore to many
Bubble AKA - Lamp, Bulb		Make light by passing a hell of a lot of electricity through a tiny wire and making it really hot
C hanger		Holds bars of 6 in the roof (as well as being useful as spanners for socapex)
Cam locks		Those things that carry 3 phase and a child can get their fingers into. Three phase connectors used by the Avolites Dimmer. They are attached to the dimmer and then turned to lock into place. If you plug the cable into the mains but not the dimmer electrocution can be easily acquired.
Centerpiece		Hung over the dance floor as part of the installation light rig. Would look better if mounted higher up, i.e. not in the Union!
Chain Hoist		Makes lifting heavy things easier - apparently
Compressor		Piece of Soundy Equipment often used to inflate space hoppers
Crossover		Splits the sound signal into groups (Based on frequency) ready to be pumped through an amp and into the right kind of speaker
Dimmer		Oddly it makes lights brighter
DMX		Digital MultipleX. A digital lighting control protocol which is now the industry standard for most control situations. In particular many intelligent lights now offer only DMX as a control input.
DMX Cable	[No Picture]	The orange cables that look like 5 pin XLRs (to soundys) Used to send control signals to the allegedly 'Intelligent' lighting and dimmers. If these things are so clever why do they need us to control them?
Driver	[No Picture]	A speaker, often cone shaped (like a big ice cream) Formerly used to describe the crew member sitting behind the steering wheel of the van/truck, but that has since been replaced with "White Van Man".
Drive Rack		Soundy Big box 'o' toys #1 Contains Graphics, crossovers and other soundy malarky
Effects Rack AKA FX Rack		Soundy Big box 'o' toys #2 Contains all those expensive little units that make people sound squeeky, in a barrel, swimming in lava or whatever (as well as other things like gates and compressors)
Effects Unit		See Effects Rack
Fader		Push up for more of whatever it is Pull back for less of it
Flightcase		Put stuff in these to help them survive us longer
Floor Can		Upside down Par-Can
FNO AKA Friday Night Out		The Friday gig in the main union, always packed - Hide Backstage!
FOH	[No Picture]	The place where the Soundy and Lampy can see and mix the act from, as well as play with a lot of faders
Followspot		A powerful spotlight that you pont at the act and follow them with when they move. If you get a chance to do FS - do the joke (you know the one). ALL acts love it!
Fresnel AKA Frezzie		A light mainly used for stage (theatrical) lighting. Crew are usually too Rock & Roll to use them.
Fuzzlight		Spinny lights - like police car lights - hence the name
G hanger		Hold lights (amongst other things) in the roof - unless you forget to do it up (See safety chain)
Gaffa Tape		It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together. The single most useful thing at any gig!
Gate		Lives in the FX rack and mucks about with sound. Often used by Farmers to keep the sound sheep from getting onto the dancefloor
Gel		Coloured plastic film that goes into Gel Frames. All gels are numbered to signify which colour they are. Good light rigs contain a lot of 181.
Gel Frame		The bent things that don't fit on the front of the cans. Metal frames (either octagonal or square) which are clipped to the front of lights (Usually Par Cans) and hold gel to change the colour of the light. Most gel frames are so dented or deformed fitting them to the light is often a superhuman feat.
Gig	[No Picture]	An event - any event that we are involved it.
Gig Foot	[No Picture]	Gaffa tape, sparky tape and other sticky substances attached to one's shoes whilst doing a gig is refered to using this term
Gobo		Those little metal things with the pretty pictures. "Gobos are thin masks that are placed in the gate of a profile spot in order to shape the light beam, creating an endless variety of patterns." (According to Martin). To the rest of us they are the things in scans (or solars) that produce the nice patterns.
Gobo Rotator		Guess What! It rotates Gobos!
Graphic AKA Graphic Equalizer		Graphics are used to make the noise being produced sound better. Setting a good graphic is half knowing what you're doing and half bluff (e.g. "Yes, Yes - That's taken some of the hiss out of the mid range")
Graphics Tablet		Plugs in to the Azure or Pearl and is an aid to programming the desk. Sort of like how a hammer helps computer programming
Griven		Dobby lighting effect - the only difference between this and any other dobby effect is that this weighs the same as a small Bison
Harting		Soundy multicore attachment Popularised in the hit song- "What became of the broken harting?"
"Heads" AKA "Bugger", "Whoops" or any number of curses	[No Picture]	A shout given by people working at height (either in the roof or on a ladder) to express the fact they just dropped something. The shout has to be short because the item would have already hit the person/ground by the time you have said "I appear to have dropped my shifter, I would suggest you move out of the way".
Heli AKA Helicopter	[No Picture]	4 pinspots on a motor
IEC AKA Kettle Lead		An electrical connector which is more or less the same as the connector you put in your kettle.
Intelligent Lights	[No Picture]	Like Dumb Lights but more expensive
Leatherman		A 'Swiss Army Knife' on drugs! Stupidly expensive and generally just a status symbol.
Limiter	[No Picture]	A sort of electronic parent, in a "Turn that racket down!!!" type of way.
Line Check	[No Picture]	When the sound rig is first powered up each of the drivers are tested (starting at the top) to ensure that they are plugged in correctly and none of them have blown up. Should also be done at the end of the gig - If you can be bothered.
Load In		Moving stuff from van (or whatever) into venue
Load Out		Moving stuff from venue back onto van (or whatever), normally following a packdown Both Load in and Load out assume you can find people to do them
Magic Moon		See 'Rainbow'
Maglite		A Small torch - If you don't know what a torch is, you're an idiot!
Manfrotto AKA Wind Up		A 3 legged stand used to hold lights up. Has a winding handle to lift whatever you put on it. The handles have been known to remove fingers.
Martin Adventurer		Dobby disco lights They may all have different names but they are effectively the same effect. Puts colour on dance floor - Part of the installation rig. Sound reactive.
Martin Discovery
Martin Voyager
Masterpiece AKA The Dobby Disco Desk		Desk Bought shortly after the Union's last redesign it is meant to be used for the installation light rig.No one knows how to use, program or get the most out of it but it is installed in the lampy booth.Most people ignore it and use a different desk.
Meat Rack	[No Picture]	The big thing that is covered in trilite and is always in the way. Its real function is supposed to be storage of lights (Especcially bars of 6) but it is unnecesary now because all lights are now stored in the roof due to the lack of packdown.
Microphone		Turns noise into electrical signals. There are lots of differnt types for different tasks, but are unlikely to make a bad act sound any better (Unless the Mic is muted)
Mini Star		See any other dobby lighting effect - they are all the same
Molfay AKA Blinder, Act Cooker		Must only be used during 'Walking on Sunshine' by 'Katrina and the Waves'
Mons (Doing Mons)	[No Picture]	The act of producing sound for the performers to listen to. It doesn't have to sound good it just has to not feed back, and so must be much easier the FOH mixing
Mons Desk		The desk that controls the mons
Multicore		Literally it is a cable with multiple cores, sometimes you have to add a break out/in to each end to make it useful
Notepad		A VERY iccle mixer.
Packdown	[No Picture]	The but at the end of the gig when all the stuff used for the gig is Supposed to be put away neatly and tidily. More usually it is decided that why bother putting things away when they will just be used tommorrow, and given up halfway through as a bad idea.
Par Can		A light - often, but not exclusively, found on a bar of 6
Patch	[No Picture]	The act of connecting the lighting controls to the lights (Via the dimmers). Most people start with some sort of 'Patch Plan' but invariably this will be given up as a bad plan. The lights could turn up on ANY desk chanel.
Pearl		The desk formerly known as the broken one. A complex DMX desk which, like the Azure, no one really knows how to use
Pinspot AKA Pinshpot		A small light for lighting small things. Spare parts available from most nightclubs in town
Rac Pac		Small sound desk, used for small events, with small acts and small budgets.
Rainbow		Dobby disco lighting effect. Sound reactive, so turn it on and leave it to do its thing
RCF		A full range speaker, mainly used for Student Councils and the like because we can't be bothered to get amps AND speakers out.
Riser		Used to make short acts look taller
Robozap		A lighting effect - that doesn't work
Rolercue		An analogue lighting desk. It is the biggest and heaviest of our lighting desks but it still a lot less than the soundies desk.
Safety Chain	[No Picture]	Usually draped near a peice of equipment in the roof to give the illusion of a separate, redundant, securing mechanism
Scaff AKA Aliscaff	[No Picture]	Tubes of metal used to hang lights off or hit people with if they are not co-operative with your requests
Scaff Tower		A tower of scaff, with two you can have interesting races across the hall
Scan AKA Scanner, MiniScan		A light with a moving mirror to throw the light on any part of the room. DMX controlled so to use it you have to first work out how to program one of the DMX desks.
Shackle		Rigging gear used to throw at crew to move them away from the impending falling of the rig.
Shifter		An adjustable spanner. Handy in place of a hammer for bashing things
Signwriter	[No Picture]	A LED array used for displaying messages. Mainly used to insult members of crew to the mass populus. Only 2 people know how to program them - and they have left.
Single Phase		Soundies main source of power. All sound equipment has to be on the same phase as it tends to explode when it isn't.
Smoke Machine AKA Scary Smoke, Baby Smoke		A machine which creates smoke. Lampys will often use a lot of smoke to make their lights have a greater effect. Often to the extent that you cannot see the act
SNAP AKA Say No And Phone		A gig we (sometimes) do for Surrey Police. They are trying to get people to rat on drug dealers rather than buying off them
Snapper	[No Picture]	Turns one TRS socket into two. Twelve turn one TRS socket into thirteen.
Socapex		The head is about the size of a digestive biscuit and contains lots of pins (or holes). Primarily used to carry power from the dimmers to the lights but can also be used to hit useless members of crew with.
Solar		A lighting effect which projects, colours and shapes onto things. It can only do one at a time so is fairly pointless.
Soundcheck	[No Picture]	The time post 5 pm (when we are allowed to make noise) where the sound rig is tested to see if it blows up. Assuming it does not music is played to and graphics are set to make it sound good. Unfortunately most sound checks are conducted with the opposite type of music to the one planed for the gig itself
Spanset		Rigging equipment. Used to hold any piece of rig in the roof. 4 of them can hold up a tank (as demonstrated by the picture).
Sparky Tape AKA PVC Tape, Electrical tape		The prime culprit for Gig foot. This tape has little sticking power unless applied to the bottom of a shoe. Also used in excessive quantities to hold coiled cables together
Speakon		A Soundie connector. Difficult to remove from equipment as the catches tend to get stuck due to excessive beer spillage
Spider		1 Fat cable to lots of smaller ones, the same as a break-out except for the spelling
Spiggot	[No Picture]	Goes into the top of a manfruitee (or similar) to allow things to be mounted on it.
Spirit		A medium sized sound desk. Can be used for most crew gigs but people still prefer to get the Yamaha out because it looks more impressive
Stage Box	[No Picture]	Where the cables from the act's equipment and mics are plugged into. The mons engineer also sends this stuff to the FOH position but invariably lies about where things are patched to - for a laugh.
Strobe		A fast flashing light mainly used to induce epileptic fits.
Sub	[No Picture]	A speaker for playing the very deep frequecies. If used with sufficient power it can alter the bio-rythmns of certain carbon-based life forms
Swop Rack	[No Picture]	Like a dimmer-rack (as in it is big, heavy and on wheels) but it doesn't dim, things are either off or exploding
Talkback	[No Picture]	A system which allows people backstage to blame the FOH people for foul ups, and vice-versa
Tank Trap	[No Picture]	Holds a scaff bar upright. Perfect for pole-dancing poles
Terminator		Goes at the end of a DMX run to fool the electrons into thinking it is a cable of infinite length. Quite why they are neccecary, we don't know, as there is practically an infinite amount already in the roof
Trilite AKA Slick, astralite		Holds lights, drapes and other misc gig stuff off the floor, Connected together using items called Pins and Eggs, Which are invariably put in the wrong way round and make the pieces impossible to get apart again
Truss		Slightly more substantial then Trilite (as it has an extra cord). It is used to keep the bars of 6 off the meatrack and out of the way (Oh - and for gigs)
Truss Monkey		Someone who monkeys about in/on (roof) trusses. Truss monkeys are usually the more slender members of crew as the wider ones tend to get stuck and never venture into the roof again (once they have been cut free)
TRS	[No Picture]	15A power cables. Only used when we have run out of Cee-Form (with suitable adaptors on each end)
UV		Emits ultra Violet light - very good for seeing underwear though light coloured clothing. Also good for showing up teeth and dandruff
Video Mixer		Mixes Video signals. Has many different transition effects but NO star-wipe!
Video Projector		Projects images onto things. Especially good when used to back project onto a sheet/white gauze - perfect for shadow Puppetry
Wedge		Makes noise on stage. EQ'd to the strains of 'Wuh Wuh Whu Wone T T T T Two Wun Two ooooooooo"
Wild Blaze		Dobby lighting effect, Mainly used on SNAP gigs
Whiling Blades of Death	[No Picture]	A Fan with a blatant disregard for safety
XLR		The ones that look like 3 pin DMX connectors (to lampys) Connectors that are mainly used to carry audio signals from place to place. Also, the male end, makes a very small pastry cutter.
Yamaha PM3500		The big, blooming heavy, FOH sound desk. I have never seen more than half the channels used. I suspect someone is compensating for something
Zargees		A tall, extending, ladder. Unfortunately it is impossible to get all 4 feet on the floor at the same time due to the uneven nature of the union flooring. Owning more than one allows various access constructions to be created by joining them together using load straps