The REAL Crew Manual

Introduction

Welcome to the Alternative Crew manual. By now you will have read the Official Crew manual and you probably think you know how (and why) things are done the way they are.

WRONG!

Within these pages is all the stuff that was left out of the Official version until you had signed the "We know what we are doing so if we fall out of the roof and hurt ourselves or someone else we can't sue" form.

Crew Members & Other animals

Standing committee
The Standing Committee is responsible for the day to day running of Crew. At present there are 5 positions on the committee as shown below. As a whole they are supposed to make sure the gigs happen and the equipment for said gigs is working prior to the event. If required they are expected to do gigs for which no-one volunteers.

Stage Manager
The Stage Manager chairs the Crew meetings and is responsible for the smooth running of Crew. It is their job to ensure gigs happen and happen safely, hence they are involved, to a varying degree, in every aspect of Crew.
Becoming Stage Manager can have quite an effect on a person and this effect varies from person to person.
Some become megalomaniacs who have let the power go to their heads and order the Crew in the same way a general would command his troops. Before long they face a mutiny or revolt.
Another type is the "Peoples' friend" who will do anything for you in return for your continued participation. These tend to be walked over fairly quickly and they end up doing all the gigs themselves.
The "Laid Back" type have an unwavering belief that the gig will happen and insist that "Whoever is around" will do the gig. Surprisingly they are often right but in this regime most of the gigs are done by a small number of Crew who soon come to resent doing all the work.
Finally there is the "Stress Puppy" who worries about everything - all the time. They will run around all day worrying that the gig is not going to happen and if, for example, the front of house engineer is ten minutes late they will have already half set up, having convinced themselves that the engineer is not turning up.
A good stage manager should have a bit of all these qualities and therefore would be a stressed, laid back megalomaniac who is a friend to all.

Lighting Equipment Officer
The LEO's job is to make sure all the lighting equipment is working and stays that way. They don't actually have to fix things themselves, but it helps.
Their only real duty is to turn up to Crew meeting and give a list of things that have been recently broken (or fixed).

Sound Equipment Officer
The SEO's job is the same as the LEO's but with soundy equipment

Secretary
The Crew Secretary's primary job is to take the minutes of the Crew meeting but is also expected to deal with Crew paperwork (Hires forms, Crew membership forms and so on).
They can expect little thanks for their efforts and are ritually humiliated each week when they post the minutes on the Crew notice board when all other members of Crew rip it to shreds by pointing out spelling mistakes and writing rude comments.

Treasurer
The Treasurer does nothing! It is a position required by the Students Union. Crew no longer has any (real) control over its funds.

Union Staff
There are other people in the structure of the union who work with Crew on a regular basis.

Technical Manager
The technical manager manages technical things. Anything deemed 'Technical' withing the union falls to this person.
Unfortunately fixing chairs (and the like) is deemed technical in the USSU.

Entertainments and Marketing Manager
The Ents manager is in charge of booking the acts for the events which occur in the union.
The Ents office is a world of its own from which little information escapes. The information provided to Crew is normally a title which is sufficient in the case of a "Friday Night Out"™ is ok as we know what to expect but if the title is something along the lines of "Grandma Loopies Love Parade" we have no idea. If we try to get more information from the Ents office it is generally empty and its occupants nowhere to be found.
The best place to locate the Ents manager is at the gig itself either looking at the drive rack or smarming up to the act.

Security/Safety Staff
On the whole, Crew do not get on well with the Safety staff. We're both trying to do are job but have an uncanny ability to get up each other's noses. A typical exchange will see security try to stop us get backstage so rather than argue we'll take a different route and wander out past them later.
Each year Safety refuse to recognize Crew-cards at the front door so Crew are forced to use the back door to which they get annoyed and then (after the ensuing row) they start allowing people with Crew cards in.

Miscellaneous Crew
Although all the above people have vital roles (ahem) we must not forget the ordinary Crew who actually do the bulk of the work.
Lampys - Do lights
Soundys - Do sound
Bods - Do what they are told (Sometimes)
Cedric - Is an axe-handle with a Crew card of his own

Old Crew
There is not really a finite definition of "Old Crew". The label, in its strictest form, could mean "Former Members of Crew who are no longer students" but it is more generally used to refer to Crew who turn up a couple of times a year (Grad Ball & Crew Dinner) rather than those living in the area who still actively doing gigs.
For "Old" read "Experienced"

Locations

Main Union
This is where Crew spend the bulk of their time when crewing, and often when not. It has changed vastly over the years from a room in Senate House to the metal clad, multi coloured, multi leveled freak-show we have today. For some of the most recent changes see "When the Stage was over there".

Backstage
This is where our kit is kept.
There is a place for everything but it is rarely in it. There is limited seating in this area - it is limited to the amount of suitably sized flight cases.

Old Backstage
This is where out kit used to be kept.
Everything had its place here too, It was a big pile in the centre of the floor (Plus the cable bins which are in the current backstage). There was no seating in this area, but that didn't matter because we had the Barclays Room.

Barclays Room
This was the socializing area next to old backstage. There were plenty of chairs to lounge around in and the dimmer racks were also located here, so lampys didn't have to leave the comfort of their chair to check the dimmers.

Green Room/Band Dressing Room
Formerly the Mature Student's Common Room, it is a room with a table, some chairs, Toilet, Shower and TV linked into the main union video system.
It is a Hole!
When we have a band (or other act) on this is where they get changed and prepare to do their thang. It is a wonder that less of the have walked out of the building when they have seen the state of it. The mirror in the toilet is broken, there is a hole in shower cubicle covered with a piece of MDF.
When there is no act requiring the use of the room crew can use it to relax in away from the punters and the noise of the gig.
Some crew have been known to use this room to view the "10 minute freeview" on the satellite porn channels. If you do this please ensure you are not also piping the feed to the main union screens.

Chancellors
Chancellors has always been slightly separated from the Main Union by virtue of the fact that, in the evening at least, you have to leave the building to get to it.
It has also changed its appearance recently into a trendy wine bar look (or motorway service station except the tables aren't nailed down). Back when "The Stage was over there" there was much more of a pub atmosphere and a lot more seating with a lot more relaxed attitude.

Lounge Bar (AKA The bar formerly known as Wray's Bar)
The bar closest to backstage. It has remained largely unaffected by the changes in the union but on a Friday Night Out is always 15 deep and so Crew rarely use it because we can't be bothered.

Hari's Bar
The bar that is located on what used to be a flat roof next to the Barclays room (from "When the Stage was over there"). It is good until about 11pm as, for some reason, the punters head straight for the Lounge Bar when they come in.

Can Bar
The bar with the shortest queue during the FNO - sells bottles. If desperate Crew will use this bar but the choice of beverages is determined by what promotions are on so it may not be to your taste at times.

Helyn Rose Bar (AKA Lower Bar)
The bar that is downstairs with an alleged fire limit of 500.

Crew Bar
Licensee: Mr M "Magic" Moon-Case.

Around Campus

Wates House
The Bar for postgrads and staff. During the summer you will find many Crew here (the ones who work on campus or in the area - Old Crew) as the union bars are closed. It has also been the venue for recent Crew Dinners.

Sennate House
The administrative heart of the University - where university security live and eat their doughnuts.

Roots
The bar that used to be the Hall bar before it was extended, the former location for Crew Dinner (why they kept letting us back is a mystery).

University Hall
This is the multi-purpose hall where Dancers dance, Examiners Examine and Crew wander around the roof just to prove how brave they are.
If you wish to book the hall - Don't!
To book the hall you have to co-ordinate with 273 differnt individuals and consult thier separate bookings forms.

Procedures, Safety & Tips

Rigging
1. At no point should Sash Cord, Gaffa Tape, String or Blu-tack be used to hold any lighting or sound equipment in the roof anywhere it can be seen by a safety officer.

2. Harnesses must be worn at all times when working in any roof space. On occasion, they should also be clipped to the roof.

3. Great care should be taken when dropping anything (such as cables) out of the roof during packdown. Ideally, you should find someone who has recently peed you off, then hurl the object as hard as you can so that it lands about 2 feet away from them. At the instant it hits the ground, scream "HEADS!!!" at the top of your voice.

4. If you accidentally drop something out of the roof, the correct warning to give is "HEADS." It is not correct to yell "FUUUUCK!!!" If the object hits before you can shout, check where it landed. If it hit the floor, you should call out "Heads!" If it hit someone, you should probably call out "Sorry!"

5. ALWAYS have a few beers before going up in the roof. You might not rig any better, but you will be more relaxed and therefore hurt yourself less when you fall out.

6. If someone can stand on it, it's probably safe.

7. All items hung in the roof should also have a redundant safety device (i.e. safety chain). If your safety chain is not long enough making it look like it is connected to something is sufficient.

Mons Engineering
1. Whales have been on the planet much longer than humans and are just as intelligent. They know what sounds good. Therefore, when you are setting up and you get lots of whale music, you are being highly artistic and should be encouraged.

2. When the lead guitar player points to his lead singer and then the ceiling, he wants you pull the lever operating the ejector-stage.

3. When you are asked by a band member for more of something in his monitor, nod like you mean it, then carefully select a knob on the mons desk (at random) and appear to touch it a couple of times. He will then indicate that it's much better than it was before. This really works.

4. When the drummer says that his monitor is too loud, he is lying.

5. When punk bands complain about the monitors not sounding good, they are lying. Tell them it's ok, the mons are working fine but the band sound s**t.

6. When setting monitor graphics the only allowable noises are 'One', 'Two', 'Yeah', 'Wuh' and 'Tssss'. Nothing else is tolerated.

7. Whilst setting the monitor graphics, using the 'One - Two' technique, someone will invariably shout 'THREE'. This is very funny and it has never been done before. You should congratulate the individual on having such a sparkling wit before beating them to a pulp.

FOH Engineering
1. Always remember that there are strict noise limits in the union which must be observed. Since it is a university, you should observe these limits academically (as in: "Yup, we definitely are exceeding the limit by 32.4dB.")

2. It is vitally important that you use as much equipment as possible during every gig. Make sure you try out all the available effects as well - there is nothing more ear catching than an acoustic ballad with the vox pitch shifted by +11 and the guitar by -7. The singer will love it.

3. Always try and syncronise the sound with the lights; as the lampy makes it brighter, turn the sound down, and as he makes it dimmer turn the sound up. Additionally, experiment with using the mute buttons like flash buttons during really rocky numbers.

4. Keep an eye out for someone who hasn't been in Crew too long and are on the stage un-plugging something during your sound check. At the instant they pull the plug, mute everything. For an added bonus, look really puzzled and fiddle frantically with the drive rack. This ALWAYS works.

5. Sometimes a punter will come up to you during a gig and ask something like "Can you make the vocals louder?" In this case, see note 3 for monitor engineers. Alternatively, resort to violence.

6. If a band brings their own engineer for FOH make sure you are courteous and professional. Comments like "I thought you knew what you were doing" and "The rig sounded fine until you pi**ed around with the graphic" will not go down well.

Lighting engineering
1. Always, ALWAYS remember that the main purpose of lighting is to blind and or cook someone as much as possible. Favorite targets include the drummer, Lead vocalist, and sound engineer.

2. If ever you get asked by the band management to "...go easy on the lights as XXXX gets really hot..." (where XXXX is the lead singer) make sure that you do exactly what they asked you to - for the first 2 songs. Then fry the f***er. (This really happened with Katrina and the Waves).

3. Moving lights do exactly what they say. If you fix them too firmly to the roof, they won't be able to move very far. Therefore, never do up the bolt on the G clamps.

4. If you have an intelligent light up and the display on the back says "XWP" then YOU HAVE IT UPSIDE DOWN.

5. Avolites make great desks. They are very robust and perform well. However, to maintain this, they need to be fed a regular diet of biscuit crumbs, crisps, bits of chocolate and most importantly of all, Diet Sunkist. The best time to feed them is half way through a large, prestigious gig (such as Grad Ball).

6. If you lose all power to the dimmer during a gig because the RCD has tripped out simply reset the switch - it was probably just a glitch where a fat electron got stuck.

7. If the RCD refuses to reset open up the nearest 3 phase power source and tail in directly, hence bypassing the RCD. It probably wasn't a serious problem anyway.

Electrical Safety
1. When a light doesn't come on, the first step should always be to hit the can with a length of something like scaff bar. If that fails, someone needs to go up and check that there is current reaching the bubble. To do this, remove the bubble (being careful not to touch the glass), and then whilst grasping the truss firmly with one hand insert the other hand into the lamp, ensuring that your fingers make good contact with the little copper bits at the end. If you are still in the roof after 10 seconds, then the can is not getting power.

2. If there's still a problem, repeat step 1 only this time on the dimmer rack itself. Only in this case, if you are in the roof after 10 seconds, then the dimmer is providing power correctly.

3. Remember: Electricity is dangerous and you should NEVER leave a power outlet switched on with no plug connected. If you do this, all the electrons will run out all over the floor and the union will have to be closed until they are cleaned up.

4. If, during a particularly big gig, we are running out of power cables, the best thing to do is to make up C-Form sex changers. This will save us making more C-Form to other things adaptors and ultimately save Crew lots of money.

5. Always remember that you should connect power to the sound desk and use that to phantom power microphones. Do NOT make up an IEC-Mic converter, it won't make the mic work properly, and it could have some safety implications in wet weather.

6. Water leaking onto the dimmer racks, Socapex box and 3 phase supply should not be treated as a serious problem. Place some plastic over it and it will be fine.

General Crew Practice
1. Smoke machines have a knob on them that controls the speed the smoke comes out of them. This is there exclusively so they can charge more for a smoke machine. It should therefore be set to full at all times, and the 'smoke' switch should be in the 'continuously on' position.

2. Mic leads work best with additional cables at both ends of them. This is why you should always run them the wrong way round, and then insert sex changers at both ends.

3. In the event of a catastrophic failure of any major equipment (such as dimmer rack or FOH amps) which leads to an explosion and lots of smoke and flames, the correct procedure is NOT to run backwards and forwards accross the stage, flapping your arms and screaming "It's all gone pear shaped, there's a fire, somebody help!!!" Panicking will not help anyone. The correct procedure is to remain where you are, sitting on a flight case back stage, and say "Hmm, that'll be a fire hazard, then."

4. If someone yells "HEADS!" above you somewhere, STAND STILL!!! It also helps if you look straight up. That way, the falling object has a nice, clearly defined target.

5. If one of the working engineers asks you (a bod) to do something, do anything you can to avoid doing it. When we sign up to engineer a gig, we love the challenge of doing all the actual work single-handedly.

6. If the gig just has a DJ on the stage don't worry about putting any lights on the stage. They are professionals and know where each record /CD is in their boxes without needing to see it.

7. If you accidentally unplug the FOH amps plug them back in as quickly as you can - hopefully you can restore power before the drivers notice.

8. When coiling cables always ensure that you have used sufficient sparky tape to hold it together before you put it away. Eight or nine times round the cable should be sufficient then no-one will ever get it undone. (Note: If you run out of sparky - use gaffa but only do half as many turns round)

LAST!. When working on stage don't show weakness. Even if you don't know what you are doing walk purposefully and at least make it look like you know what you are doing.

Crew Events

Crew Meeting

The standard parts

The people present
This should be a list of all the people at the meeting. It is created by the Secretary handing round a piece of paper and a pen and everyone writes down their name.
This does not always work as it invariably misses people who have arrived late to the meeting or the table at the back to which the list never makes it. Also many erroneous names, inanimate objects and miscellaneous rubbish appear on the list - not to mention those people whose writing is so much of a scrawl the Secretary can't make head nor-tail of the name anyway.
In short the people listed in the minutes may or (more likely) may not represent the people who were actually at the meeting.

Apologies for absence
Technically any member of Crew who can't make it to the meeting, for whatever reason, should inform the Secretary prior to the meeting.
In practice any member of Crew who can't make it to the meeting, for whatever reason, should inform another member of Crew prior to the meeting in order for their apologies to be given.
In reality the apologies section is where names are shouted out by the people present on noticing someone isn't there, whether apologies are given or not and often includes some of the erroneous names, inanimate objects and miscellaneous rubbish mentioned above.

Inaccuracies of last weeks minutes
This is a section given to correct any incorrect information that was given in the official USSU stage Crew minutes from the previous week.
Occasionally there is a real item in this section - but not often, usually it is a chance to berate the Secretary for the formatting, spelling or lateness of the minutes and as such is often skipped for a faster meeting (if it is remembered at all)

Matters arising from last weeks minutes
See Inaccuracies of last weeks minutes

The week ahead
The Chairman of the meeting (Usually the Stage Manager) then goes through the booking diary and informs the meeting of what events are happening in the next week and looks for volunteers for said gigs.
The Chairman is allowed to use any means at his disposal to achieve a full set of Crew for hall the gigs (Blackmail, Pleading and Promises of food are all valid tactics). Despite the effort the Chairman rarely gets enough Crew to cover all the gigs and the minutes often look like:

Tuesday - 3 Bands in the HRB
Lights - The soundys can switch them on
Sound - We'll find someone
Bods - Whoever is around

Technically the standing committee, between them, should cover any gigs that there are insufficient volunteers for but this serves as motivation for the Chairman to harass/cajole/bribe people to do gigs.

Standing Committee reports
Stage Manager's report
This is the stage manager's chance to complain about people putting their names down for gigs and then not doing them.

Lighting Equipment officer's report
The LE officer to report which lights or lighting equipment has been broken/repaired/ignored over the past week, often along the lines of:
"The Pearl is broken again, as is the Griven. If a lead is broken don't put it back on the shelf put it in the broken leads bin."

Sound Equipment officer's report
See Lighting Equipment officer's report but for sound equipment

Secretary's & Treasurer's reports
Usually nothing

Other official reports
Occasionally other officials will grace Crew meeting with a report (e.g. the Technical Manager or Ents Manager). The report will normally be a complaint about a gig not happening and how people, when they put their name down, should do gigs. Occasionally after a big event (e.g. Graduation Ball) there will be some thanks given to Crew for a good job well done and if this is the case the other committee reports will probably contain similar thankings.

Any Other Business
This can go one of three ways:
1. No-one has anything to say
2. Everyone thanks everyone else
3. Everyone argues with everyone else
There is often little or no way of predicting which of the above will happen but the normal one is the first.

Special Parts of Crew Meeting
Election to Standing Committee
Every year the standing committee resigns and elections are held for each of the positions. Usually the outgoing members will continue their roles until the new members are elected.
When a position becomes available the Chairman of the meeting will ask for nominations during the coming week and the election(s) will be held at the following meeting (Nominators and Seconders should be found but they are not entirely necessary as someone will vouleteer at the meeting).
Any candidates for the available post will be told to stand on a table and give a short speech about why they want/should have the post. In all Crew elections the candidate(s) will be up against an inanimate object (drinks can, chocolate wrapper - something of that sort) and a speech will be made on its behalf.
The candidates will then be asked questions by any members of Crew who wish to do so (each question is answered by all candidates).
Then the candidates are sent out of the room and a vote is taken for which candidate should have the post. If the inanimate object is returned as the victor it instantly resigns and nominations are reopened.

Vote of No Confidence
If a member of the standing committee is doing a particularly pants job a vote of no confidence can be tabled against them. If they lose the vote they are sacked from their post.
Votes of no confidence can often be seen coming because there are people 'jokingly' suggesting them at the meeting for a couple of weeks beforehand, after which the SC member might start to make an effort and avoid the vote altogether.
If there is a vote conducted it will require someone to propose the vote and someone to second it. Seconders are easy to find as there is always someone there who is game for a laugh.
Votes of no confidence are usually carried because Crew members have generally moaned to each other about the situation for a good couple of weeks.
If you see a vote heading your way, and you can't be arsed to do anything about it, don't bother turning up to the meeting - A vote is less likely to be taken in your absence - especially if you feign an illness.

Crew Dinner

This is the Stage Crew Christmas dinner which is held annually (funny that), usually on the last Saturday before the Christmas break. It normally goes through the following stages.

Planning

• Someone must find out when the last Saturday before the Christmas break is and then book a venue for the meal.
• Inform current Crew of the date and cost, attempt to locate and inform old Crew of the date and the cost.
  
• Next they have to get a list of people wanting to attend, their nutritional preferences and getting cash out of them
• Find out how many of them have turned 21 in the past year (for tankard purposes),
• Harass again for money.
  
• Get tankards made
  
• Tell events manager the date
  
• Write date in events managers diary
  
• Indicate to events manager that he should not book any gigs whatsoever for that date
  
• E-mail events manager at least once a week to remind him not to book any gigs that day
  
• Bang head against wall on discovering large band festival booked for said date
• Arrange for festival to move to other date
  
• Discover it was a good thing you moved the festival because it was double booked with a main hall event.
  
• Give up / send the boys round / threaten to never organize dinner again
  

I'm sure there is a lot more to it than that but having never done it - I wouldn't know.

Crew Cards
The Secretary then has to make up the Crew cards for the new Crew. These cards are divided amongst the standing committee to be handed out.
The price of the Crew card is drink of the SC member's choice at the dinner.

Pre dinner drinkies
At about 11am on the morning of Crew dinner Crew will congregate is a drinking establishment - where they will stay until it is time to go to the dinner itself.
During these eight or so hours drinking alcohol is mandatory (unless you have a minibus for the purpose of driving people to the dinner - then abstinence is greatly encouraged). Other activities that happen during this time include old Crew regaling then new with stories starting with phrases like "Back in my day. . ." and "When the stage was over there. . .", many of which are so exaggerated they bear no relation to the actual occurrences.
Traditionally the Stage Manager's speech is written during this period. You may think this is foolish but by the time it gets to time to present the speech the SM is so drunk they can't read anyway.

En-route to the venue
It is now time to get into the posh clobber ready for the formal part of the evening for those who participated in the Pre dinner drinkies will generally have left their clothes either backstage or in someone's halls of residence where they will get changed before going to the dinner itself.

The start of the evening
This is mainly spent milling around the bar. New Crew will attempt to find the member of the standing committee who holds their full Crew card, then buy them a drink for said Crew card. In the past it has been known for thirsty members of the SC to claim to have someone's card, receive the drink tariff, and then look through their stack of cards and say something like "I could have sworn I had your card - sorry. Thanks for the drink anyway". If concerned that you might be duped in that way - ask to see your card before buying the drink.

The Meal
At some point you will be called to sit at your allotted table as specified in the seating plan (if there is one). Hopefully during the year you will have made it clear who you do and don't like or you could be stuck on a table with people you dislike - actually whether you do it or not is largely irrelevant, it is a lottery.
Along comes the food and wine - it doesn't matter what colour wine you specified there will be a bottle of each on the table and it is easier to drink whatever is left as the evening goes on.
During the main course keep your head down as food fights can occur!

After the meal
Back to the bar! Drinking continues until the management tells us to leave. Gernerally there will be some form of entertainment wich must include the playing of "Henry the wasp"

Getting home
Largely a mystery to most - including me.

Graduation Ball

Graduation Ball, unsurprisingly, happens when the final years graduate and leave the university to become productive members of society. As a final reward the university provides them with a party to remember - for a large ticket price.

Freshers' week

Freshers' week is quite an important week in the Crew year. If we get it wrong it could mean the difference between an enjoyable year and an absolutely abysmal one.
We have to create some good shows for the new intake so the WANT to join Crew come Freshers' Fair. So we go overboard with hideously elaborate truss structures on stage, hire in lots of flashy looking kit (and pass it off as our own) and generally pretend we're having fun.
At Freshers' Fair we put all of our most impressive looking equipment on to the stage - even if we don't use it any more to try and entice people into speaking to the scary people wandering around it.
If we fail to recruit enough people we are then stuffed for another 12 months, everyone would have to do twice as much work to cover the shortfalls (well that is the theory but if this happens it generally falls to a core few who do all the gigs).

General Crew Phrases and other Stuff

"When the stage was over there"
The phrase is normally used by 'Old Crew' to signify a time when gigs got done by keen Crew - as opposed to doing it under sufferance.
The union is radically changed from what it was at the beginning of 1996 which has meant an increased fire limit (i.e. more punters and therefore more takings - when the building is full) Most of the recent physical changes were made during the summer of '96.
Below is a picture looking on to the old stage (at the time it was dolled up for Charter Ball 1996). I have stuck on some annotations to give you a frame of reference.

Back in those days the stage was a lot smaller, as you can see. When we had a band on the Front of House position was the two seating bays on the balcony so most of the punters were crowded underneath.
The front of house PA was two stacks of 3 Martin bins on the edges of stage so there was very little front of stage left for the act itself.

The Old Union
On the right is an approximation of what the union used to look like. We used to have the run of everything that is now the dancefloor. The Barclays room had seats and tables (rather than flightcases) in and it is where Crew could sit around and drink beer. Ahhhh the memories!

The Current Union
As you can see we have gained a bar (Woo Hoo) and lost most of our space (Boo Hoo).
We have gained a bigger stage (Yay) but it is now pointing at a wall (Nay).

Nicknames
Nicknames are a way of life in Crew. Most Crew, at one point or another, have been given a nickname but not all of them have stuck.
People can gain nicknames in many ways. The most popular appears to be the highly convoluted word association method. This involves taking the person's real name and put it though a series of word associations to come up with the nickname. For example:
1. Real Name - Nick Crane
2. Crane goes to Lift
3. Lift goes to Lemon Tea
4. Lemon Tea goes to Ice T(ea)
5. Ice T goes to Gangster
6. Gangster goes to mob
7. Mob goes to Bob
8. Nickname - Bob
And that one stuck, he is still known to some, older Crew, as Bob.

The other methods for nicknaming include:

• Who they look like
  
• Corruptions of their own names (Cookson to Cooky, Leach to Leachy and so on)
  
• Sarcastic/Ironic naming based on a person's behavior (e.g. Lucky - for not being)